The Vulture Nest: Latest Music News, July 4

Each week Vulture brings you the most interesting music news from around the world. This week, mo’ money, mo’ problems, Chavril make it official, some Jinja Ninja’s head out on tour, and Glastonbury is predictably incredible.

This past week has seen the elitist’s Forbes announcing their list for the 100 Most Powerful Musicians. Queen of the monsters, Lady Gaga took out the numero uno spot for the year having made a whopping 80 million clams for 2013, and this total would have been substantially higher had she not required urgent hip surgery thus cutting her Born This Way Tour short. The chameleon in couture, Gaga has earned her position thanks to garnering 58 million Facebook fans, and a humble 38 million Twitter followers. Gracefully accepting the runner position is Beyonce, making her mega millions with concerts, perfumes, endorsements and baby making abilities. Madonna receives the bronze this year as the Material Girl even though the plastic fantastic earned herself $305 million dollars, in large part to her MDNA tour, merchandise, clothing line and other useless crap. Other muso’s to hit the top ten include Taylor Swift, Rihanna, Justin Bieber, Coldplay, Jennifer Lopez, Bon Jovi and Katy Perry. A tween’s wet dream of a top ten. ‘Cept maybe for Bon Jovi.

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In what can only be described as the fucking weirdest, yet deliciously funny match in music history, ‘Complicated’ skater girl Avril Lavigne, and the lead singer of what has been described as the worst band in the world, Nickelback’s Chad Kroeger, got married on Monday. Yes. Married. For better or worse. The Canadian music rejects united in holy matrimony to simultaneously make our ears bleed with collaborations of love and affection with each other. The duo met whilst working together on Lavigne’s forthcoming album, and the rest is history. Lavigne, 28 and Kroeger, 38, had been engaged for less than a year. Vomit. But you know, good for them and whatever.

AvrilHippy transcendent Aussie band Jinja Safari have just announced a massive 16 show tour of the country, set to commence in Queensland this September and October. After exploring stages across the globe, Jinja are bringing the show back to where the heart is- home. On the back of a freshly completed self-titled LP, the band is intent on bringing their energetic live shows to a city near you, with several all ages gigs included on the schedule to reach the plethora of fans they so rightly deserve. The first single from the record, ‘Dozer’, has already garnered much airplay on Triple J since having the coveted ‘Feature Album’ spot not long ago. Tickets are on sale now.

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After a one year hiatus, the Glastonbury festival went off this past weekend without a hitch, despite many fears the weather would completely ruin the three day mega festivities. Stories galore have been filtering out from the artists who made appearances at the farm, tales of woe, euphoria and even numb limbs. A woman even gave birth after seeing The Rolling Stones perform! What the shit!? Many “secret” shows took place too, with The Vaccines, Beady Eye and Alt-J all making surprise performances. Bookmakers had electro-duo Daft Punk pegged as a sure fire pop-up performer, but to no avail, much to many disappointed bet makers and concert attendees. The rumor mill is of course already in major overdrive as to who will headline next year’s concert, but don’t get too ahead of yourselves. We are still recovering from seeing Mumford & Sons and the Stones rock their asses off via the live feed. Tell us, who do we have to kill to get to the next Glastonbury?

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Michelle Pitiris

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