5 Things Kanye SHOULD Have Interrupted
Kayne West. Yeezy. The Louis Vuitton Don. Or as we like to call him… ‘Guantanamo Ye’
This is a man whose greatest pain in life is “…That he will never see himself play live”.
Keeping that in mind, this week the self-professed enigma decided to yet again crash someone’s limelight at the Grammy’s. This time he spared Taylor Swift and zeroed in on Beck.
‘Ye’ moseyed on up on stage after the Becktacular Morning Phase surprised everyone winning ‘Album of the Year ‘over Beyonce’s self-titled album. In a moment of protest, he stood there like a meerkat, and then slunk away like a flatulent warthog stating that ‘Beck needs to respect artistry, he should have given his award to Beyonce’.
Ok. Kayne – you make some awesome music. You’re a bit of a dick at times, Fair Enough.
But let’s quickly CRACK A STAT: Beyonce – 25 writers,16 producers. Beck: Himself. So which artist wrote the best album?
Much alike comparing Kim Kardashian’s Baps, there is no clear winner. You could argue the left, but everyone knows the right is just as good, if not better.
We think Kanye should probably just concentrate on winning more Grammy’s instead of ruining them for others.
So we here at vulture have put together 5 things Kanye SHOULD have interrupted:
5. Joseph Kony – To quote Happy Gilmore ‘Where were you on that one Dipshit?’ Yeezy, if you had just spoken up at the time, none of this would have happened. Including the insane dude whackin’ it in downtown San Diego. The guerrilla leader is still roaming around somewhere in Uganda, and you didn’t even blink an eyelid. Shame. KONY 2012.
4. Girl Interrupted – You probably should have interrupted this movie when it was being greenlit. It was an abomination. We mean, Winona Ryder? What were you thinking Ye? Probably the same train of thought when you called your daughter ‘North’… pfft. Winona Ryder… she is more suited to the role as “Coat” in Too Many Cooks. Next time interject with a scissor kick to the tits of the C.E.O of Colombia Pictures
3. The Last Supper – Seeing as though you are a self-professed ‘Genius’ why don’t you Stephen Hawking yourself up a Time Machine and head back to biblical times to take part in the battle between Jesus vs Yeezus. He will teach you a few things about humility and being humble.
2. The wedding of Geoffrey Edelsten to Brynne – Nuff said. STAHP IT
1. Sleep There is nothing like waking up at 4 am to Kanye banging out Black Skinhead at full boar, designer sunglasses on, shirt ripped off, with beads of sweat dripping from every pore. Complete with staring directly into your soul – without EVER cracking a smile or saying a word. We think that is something we would all enjoy on a 5-10 minute rotation during naptime. Maybe throw in a picture of his wife opening a bottle of champagne in the nude for full nightmarish effect.
Take it easy, Yeezy.